Is Your love Appreciated?

An unpleasant truth is that many times our loving acts are totally unnoticed or worse unappreciated by those we are ding them for. After all we are simply obeying Jesus Christ's command to "love your neighbor as your self." Why are they so unappreciative?

Some of that difficulty lies in the fact that our loving actions are often not perceived as loving. There are probably many reasons; however, cultivating one trait will eleminate much of the problem. These experiences illustrate the need for that trait.

In an article by missionary and activist Ken Joseph Jr, (http://assyrianchristians.com/i_was-wrong-mar-26-03.htm) the writer relates a 2003 visit to Christians including relatives in Iraq that opened his eyes to a vital truth: They were informing him that his wellintentioned activist work brought them more harm than benefit. "... I had been doing it for the very people I was here now with and yet I had not ever bothered to ask them what they wanted." Then he talked with other activists, "Have you asked the people here what they want? ... I was shocked at the response. 'We don't need to do that. We know what they want.'"

Maybe we take the "yourself" part of the command to mean: "Since I would like things done this way, I should work for it to be done this way for them." Or maybe we just figure that, as the enlightened spiritual folk that we are, we know what is best for others. Or worse, maybe it is just plain pride and conceit. Whatever the reason, when we come across this way, we do not love as Christ did and sometimes we actually harm others.

That brought another event to mind; years ago a pastor counseled me "When praying for people, be sure to ask them what they want prayer for." His reason was that many times he found his assumption was wrong. In light of Ken Joseph Jr.'s article, the pastor's loving wisdom and humility is clear. I try to do that and often confirm his point. I was visiting a woman in ICU; I was ready to pray for strength, grace, healing, and such. Then I remembered to ask her; her request was: "Pray I get out of here!!" So I prayed for that instead and very soon she was home. I would have prayed for good things, but not for her heart-felt need. That prayer proved to be important in developing a friendly relationship with her. I was very glad I asked!

After we do a loving acts we still need a dose of humility. A missionary told me about the time he gave a boy a nice pair of athletic shoes. A few days later he saw the boy wearing a pair of cheap, locally-made shoes. He was upset and asked the boy about the nice shoes he had given him. The boy replied he was sorry, but he sold those shoes and used the money to buy shoes for his entire family. Humbled, the missionary realized the boy had used his gift wisely and sacrificially.

As we strive to obey Christ and love our neighbors, whether they are in Iraq, Honduras, Togo, the UK, next door, or in our own family let's do it in a sensitive and humble manner.

Written by Rev. Daniel B. Baker April 2003



Articles by Rev. Daniel B. Baker :: Webmaster: Joseph I. Baker